Castle of Glass [Ereri-drabble]

FEELS-WARNING!

~*~*~*~*

I don’t know anymore. I’m so lost now.

Nothing goes the way we planned it. Everything falls apart slowly, bit by bit. I touch the cold surface of your clear crystal. Inside it, I see you, sleeping, soundly. I can’t hear anything, I just see you taking light breaths of air.

Why you did this? Why?

Now I can’t touch you anymore. We can’t be together anymore. Not now, not never.

“Eren.”

I whisper your name again and again and rest my forehead on the crystal. You are so close, but still, I can’t reach for you.

Why you saved me? Why this was the only way to safe my shitty life?

Oh why why why why?

“Levi.”

I hear someone call me. It was you, I know it. But when I see you unmoving in the crystal, I realize it. You’re calling me in my memories.

“What brat? I recall you have something better to do than interrupt me.”

I looked up from my unfinished papers.

“Well, I just want to give you something.”

“Tch. It’s better to be something good, idiot.”

I watched you fidgeting in front of me. You were nervous, and it surprised me. You were never nervous. Not with me.

Then you took it from behind your back. It was a beautiful rose. Red like blood, red like a human heart.

“Corporal. Thank you for sticking up with me. I know I’m just a stupid brat who can’t even clean properly, but still. Accept this as a gratitude.”

I was surprised, because before this day I was positively sure that this brat was afraid of my guts, or hated me.

At first I thought I would not take the rose, because I couldn’t accept it. I was his superior, and I can’t make the brat think otherwise.

But still, I took the rose.

“Thank you, I guess.”

I was definitely not ready for that brilliant smile you gave. I think you don’t know this, but I love your smiles, Eren. They’re captivating and make me smile too.

You’re so innocent and gorgeous. You still are, even though I can’t enjoy it fully anymore.

“I’ll leave for now, Eren. But still, I’m going to remember you, and cherish you. You will always live in my memories.” I whispered, hoping you would hear me.

I love you.

I packed away from you, and made my way to the doorway.

“Farewell, you selfish little brat.”

I closed the door, and climbed the stairs up. We buried your sleeping form deep under the ground, that no one would find you.

And I was relieved when I got outside. It was raining, and it would be a good cover for my newly shed tears.

A good soldier like me can’t show that they’re human too. I couldn’t even show for you that I cared. I have to be inhumanly strong, even if in reality I’m everything else but strong.

I’m human too, and I regret it so much that I didn’t take the chance to show it to you.

~*~*~*~*